The Life and Thoughts of Mark

My main goal in life is to be a true follower of Jesus Christ.  Beacuse of the fact that I have fallen short of this goal on MANY occasions, I have had my share of doubts and have often wondered if I truly am a genuine Christian.  This has led me to consider the problem of people claiming to be Christians, but not acting anything like Christ (most of the time), especially those in the church. By the grace of God, this has never been a serious threat to my faith or caused me to want to leave the church. Jesus himself prophesied on more than one occasion that there would be those that would claim to know Him, but their actions would deny Him. It is unfortunate that many – some very close friends and even family members – have been innoculated (so to speak) against Christianity. Let me explain: when you get a flu shot, you get either a very weak dose of the real thing or a counterfeit of the real thing, so that you become immune to the flu. Just like that, I believe that many self proclaimed Christians have gotten a watered-down or “dead” version of Christianity and now they are immune to the real thing. They claim to believe in Jesus, but in reality, they have been innoculated against Christianity by only getting the counterfeit version of Christianity. Now they go around claiming to be Christians when in reality they are only a little bit Christian. Is that “little bit” enough to save them? If it isn’t enough to make them “like Christ”, then I think that it isn’t going to save them either. AND their form of Christianity ends up driving others away from Christ as well.  I pray that I would not be a fake Christian or that my lapses in following Christ like I should would never cause another to leave the church or decide not to follow Christ.

I have always wanted SO badly to be that person who has a sort of “golden touch” - for everything I touch to turn to gold, for everything to go my way, for success in everything I try to do.  Alas, that has NEVER been the case with me.  More often than not, when I have an idea, it doesn’t work (or at least doesn’t work as well as I wanted it to).  When I attempt something new, I am not very good at it (or at least not as good as I wanted to be).  And when I want to win, I inevitably lose.   I do have this to my credit though - I keep trying.  I could give up, but I don’t.  I might want to just walk away, but I never do.  I always try again or try something else or try to do what I was doing before in a new way…I just keep trying.  I have a knack for perseverance.  I admit, sometimes I catch myself thinking, “what’s the point?” or “why me?” and frankly, I still don’t have the answers to those questions.  Still, I keep going and hoping that someday (either in this life or the next) I will have that “golden touch”.

It is a little strange for me to think that I just turned 40 today.  It feels about the same as when I turned 30 except that I know it has been 10 years since then and I think that I “should” feel a little differently.  When I was in my teens and 20’s I felt like a world changer, like I could make a difference on a big scale.  In my 30’s I didn’t know what my purpose was.  Now that I am 40 I have a great  new purpose - loving and serving God by loving and serving my family.  Any other good that I can do in addition to that is bonus.  Time changes our perspective.  At least it has changed mine.

Almost every weekday morning before school, my 4yr. old son (and his older brothers too) watch “Curious George” on PBS.   So, I get to hear the theme song just about every day - “…I wanna learn something new everyday…”.  This morning, I asked Zion, “are you going to learn something new today?”.  He said, “naa, I’m probably not going to learn anything”.   I told him that I wanted to learn something new everyday until I die and then in heaven maybe I could know everything like God does.  All the way to work (a 30 minute commute), I thought about learning more and making the most of our days of life and things of that sort - thinking that I need to learn more and do more and be more…  So, when I had a break at work, I sat down at the computer and tried to find something worthwhile to learn.  I thought about some of the people that I believed might have something good to teach me.  My first thought was to go to the C.S. Lewis website “Into the Wardrobe” and read a devotional thought from him.  Once there, I found a recording of one of Mr. Lewis’s BBC radio addresses from the 1950’s or 60’s.  It was on the topic of prayer.  Just what I needed.  Whether it be from the Bible or from a great Christian thinker and writer like C.S. Lewis or from Mother Theresa or Rich Mullins or maybe even from a source that I would never expect; I believe that God is a gracious and faithful God and will give us the learning that we need to live for Him.  I wonder what I will learn tomorrow?

Last night I saw an amazingly incredible concert (thanks to my friend Steve inviting me and my wife letting me go)!  It was U2 playing at the new Dallas Cowboys “Death Star” Stadium in Arlington.  I started listening to U2 back in the early-mid 80’s thanks to MTV and my friend Erik who let me plug my headphones into his dual jack cassette player (if you don’t know what a cassette player is, look it up on Wikipedia - haha).  Anyway, over the years, U2 (Bono specifically) has been an influence on my social and spiritual mindset.  I did my Senior research paper in high school on the “social protest lyrics of U2″-  if that tells you what a big fan I was.  I don’t think that I have always been THAT much of a fan, but I have remained a fan for more than 25 years partly because of their excellent songwriting and musical style, but mostly because I believe that they have held true to their faith.  This was quite evident at the concert last night (and not because Bono sang “Amazing Grace” either).  I think that you can get part of the picture from listening to their songs and reading their lyrics.  You can get more of the picture by listening to or reading interviews with Bono or the Edge or even Larry Mullin Jr.  The final piece that did it for me was seeing them “live” (again).   When U2 sang “Where the Streets Have No Name” and Bono began quoting scripture in praise of our Lord as the rest of the band sang and played or in their new song called “Magnificent” as Bono wailed “I was made to love you, I was made to sing for you” as he lifted his hand in praise - the Spirit of God was in their music.  These are men, imperfect, flawed men; but they are men after God’s own heart nonetheless and that brings me a little joy in this sometimes dark and depressing world.

This past Saturday I went to the tiny town of Wink, Tx to watch my 11 yr. old, Blaze, play football.  He is on a travelling team that had lost only 5 games in the last 3 years (4 times to the same team).  Anyway, the game lasted about 2 hours and I got sunburned all over my face, on my neck, and even my knees.  My 4 yr. old got sunburned slightly less severely on his cheeks.  At home that night, my wife, a nurse, asked me why I didn’t put sunscreen on Zion.  I told her I didn’t think about it because it was cloudy and looked like it might rain.  It didn’t look like a day that we would get sunburned.  My wife reminded me that the sun’s rays bounce off the clouds and the likelihood of being burned on a cloudy day is actually greater than on a clear day.  The idea that it is easier to be sunburned on a day that you would think you would be safer because of the clouds made me think that there alot of times in our lives when things are not as they would seem, how we are so easily lulled into a false sense of security.  Instead of being on our guard at all times, we feel like everything will be ok and the next thing we know, we come out of a “cloudy day” red in the face.   So, be sure to watch out when you are out there in the world and it seems like a harmless thing.  Be vigilant.  You never know when you might come up against a temptation or struggle or decision that might seem like something less than what it really is.  The Boy Scout motto is “Be Prepared” for good reason.  More importantly, the Bible says in Ephesians that we should always “put on the full armor of God”.   I had to learn the hard way with my sunburn, thank God it wasn’t something even more painful!  By the way, Blaze’s team lost again, 21-0.  I am glad I went to support him anyway.  Next time I will bring my sunscreen.

I often struggle with knowing what it means to be a follower of Jesus in our modern world.  So many claim to be “Christians”, but Jesus himself said that the road to salvation was narrow and there would be few that would find it.  It seems that Christianity is more of a marketing tool for consumerism than it is a way of life these days.  I pray that my life reflects what I claim to believe in a legitimate way and that I will allow God to truly live through me to do His will (at least most of the time).

Check out these words from the writer of Hebrews from the Bible: “Do not throw away your confidence; it will be rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

 Jesus spoke to his followers about faith quite a bit in the gospels. “Faith of a mustard seed”, “oh ye of little faith”, “when the son of man comes, will he find faith?” It is sometimes difficult to have faith, but I manage to do it most of the time with God’s help.  Still I wonder, is my definition of faith the same as what Jesus had in mind for his disciples?  Does the writer of Hebrews imply that faith and confidence are the same?  Hebrews also has the famous lines, “without faith it is impossible to please God” and “faith is being sure of things hoped for and certain of things unseen”.  Faith is still a mystery to me, yet I do not feel my lack of understanding exactly what faith is and how it works keeps me from practicing it.  I pray that my efforts will not be in vain.

I am studying poetry with my English classes at Seminole High School this six weeks.  I have come across some great poetry - some for the first time and some that are long time favorites.  This is a poem that I first discovered as a song on Phil Keaggy’s “Love Broke Thru” album many years ago, but the words were taken from C.S. Lewis.  Phil Keaggy just added music and melody.  There is a new song version of the poem by a band called Thrice.  It is a pop/punk version if you are into that sort of thing.  Here is the original poem: As the Ruin Falls“All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.I never had a selfless thought since I was born.I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:I talk of love –a scholar’s parrot may talk Greek–But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.I see the chasm. And everything you are was makingMy heart into a bridge by which I might get backFrom exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The painsYou give me are more precious than all other gains.”CS Lewis

Not only am I a fan of college basketball (my favorite team is Gonzaga), but I am also a fan of high school and NBA basketball as well.  I love this time of year!!!!  I was playing basketball at the Lincoln Center (a park with a great outdoor basketball court in Andrews)  the other day with some neighborhood kids and I still have a pretty good shot, though my knees wont allow me to run and jump as well as I could 10 years ago.  I have been following the high school basketball playoffs, especially in 1a where one of my friends who is a coach at Sands has made his longest playoff run in 10+ years of coaching.  The school where I teach, Seminole, has also made it to the regional semi-finals this year.  It is fun to watch the games and remember my “glory years” of basketball.  I am thankful to God for basketball and good times and good memories.